Lost and Found
by Ronda Sexton
Summary: Admiral Paris reacts to losing Tom, and then finding him again.


TITLE: Lost and Found  
AUTHOR: R. Sexton  
SERIES: Voy  
CODE: Admiral Paris, Tom Paris  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY:The disappearance and reappearance of Voyager causes the Paris men to rethink things.  
  
DISCLAIMER: The characters, Voyager, ect belong to Paramount, who don't know what to do with them anyway.  
  
Special thanks to PJinNH and PJS, my beta readers!  
  
  
LOST AND FOUND  
BY: R. Sexton  
  
  
  
Owen Paris read the report with disbelief. Voyager had disappeared in the Badlands. He knew his son was aboard that ship. The Admiral had not objected when Captain Janeway requested Tom go along to help them find the Maquis. According to the engineers at Starfleet, Voyager was suppose to be able to handle the plasma storms. Evidently, they had been wrong.   
  
Memories of the breakdown of his relationship with his son tormented him. It had started the day Tom was cashiered out of Starfleet. Tears welled up in his eyes as memories of his angry words to his son came back.   
  
*******"Why in hell did you lie in the first place?"   
"Dad..."  
  
"Don't call me that!" Owen interrupted. "NO son of mine would screw up this badly! Get out of my house."  
  
"Dad, please...." Tom's eyes were brimming with unshed tears. He reached a hand out to his father.  
  
Owen ignored his son's outstretched hand and glared at Tom icily. "Out, now and don't ever come back!"**********  
  
Shortly after that, Tom disappeared. Owen yearned to see his son, and to apologize for his harsh words. Guilt gnawed at him every time he thought about what he had said. Owen knew his temper had caused him no end of problems. Now it had separated him from his only son.   
  
A few months later, Owen was contacted by Starfleet Security. Tom had been caught flying for the Maquis. When he heard this, his anger boiled up. The Admiral had spoken even harsher words to his son and refused to attend the trial. His wife, Elizabeth and their daughters attended. He would not let as much as a word about the trial be spoken in his presence.   
  
When Tom was given a 15-year sentence at Auckland, Owen was stunned. He tried to see Tom, only to discover his son refused any and all visits from him.   
  
Owen had longed to apologize to Tom. He tried sending letters. All of his correspondences were returned marked refused. When Janeway had gotten Tom out to help track the Maquis, Owen had hoped he would be able to see him upon their return...................  
  
*********************  
  
Eventually, Voyager and all hands were declared lost in the badlands.   
  
Memorial services were held at Starfleet Headquarters. People watched Owen Paris during the service. Most knew what had happened between Tom and his father. They also knew how deeply Owen regretted his harsh words to his son. It seemed the Admiral had aged overnight. He clutched a picture of his son during the service. His family clustered around him trying to comfort him.   
  
"Tom, Tom," he whispered brokenly. "I wanted to make things right, I did."  
  
His wife embraced him and they sobbed together.   
  
"Elizabeth, this is all my fault. If I hadn't let my temper get the best of me, Tom would still be here. I might as well have killed him myself," said the Admiral in a morose tone.  
  
"Owen, it's not your fault. You did try to make amends," Elizabeth answered softly.  
  
Later that day, the surviving members of the Paris family stood before a memorial to the Voyager crew. Owen's hands trembled as he laid a red rose before Tom's name. His wife and daughters each laid down a red rose in turn.   
  
Owen brushed his fingers across his son's engraved name. His temper had driven his son apart from him. Owen knew no one could change the past, but he could make sure in the future his temper did not control him. Elizabeth had long pleaded with him to get help. His temper had flared out of control many times after being held prisoner by the Cardassians. Owen would honor Tom by seeking help. It was too late for his relationship with Tom, but there was still time to help his relationship with his wife and daughters.  
  
*******************  
  
As months passed, Owen's life fell into a routine. In the morning, he still taught the survival class at the academy. Some of the cadets reminded him of how enthusiastic Tom had been as a cadet. Owen also recalled when Tom had taken his class. Pangs of guilt still tore at him for how hard he had been on Tom in his class. After his class, he met daily with a psychiatrist to work on anger management. He was slowly making progress. After his appointment, he made his daily sojourn to the Voyager Memorial to lay a red rose in front of his son's name. He sat there afterwards and he would talk to Tom and he'd wonder if the pain of his loss would ever lose its sharp edge.   
  
At home, Owen spent time working on his relationship with his wife. He wanted desperately to make up for years of his unpredictable outbursts of anger. His wife deserved so much better than she had received. He also worked to spend quality time with his daughters when he could. Both of them were grown and living away from home, so he worked hard to schedule time with them as well.  
  
***Fourteen Months After the Memorial Service***  
  
Owen sat in his office working on reports, when the door chime startled him out of his thoughts. He pressed a button on his desk and the door slid open. A young man he did not recognize stood at attention in the doorway.  
  
"Come in, son," the older man said softly. With his blond hair and blue eyes, this could have easily been Tom. He wondered if he would ever stop seeing Tom in young officers. He glanced at the picture of his late son where it sat in a place of honor on his desk.  
  
The ensign walked into the office. "Sir, Admiral Richardson requests your presence in Conference Room A immediately."  
  
Owen grabbed a PADD to make notes on. "Thank you, Ensign," he answered as he hurried to the meeting.   
  
When he walked through the door, he was surprised to see an obsolete version of the EMH Mark 1 standing in the room.  
  
Admiral Richardson rose. "Owen, I'd like you to meet the EMH from Voyager."  
  
The PADD in Owen's hand clattered to the floor. "From Voyager," he managed to gasp. "But, Voyager was lost with all hands........"  
  
"The reports of our demise were premature," remarked the Doctor dryly. He folded his arms and waited impatiently to begin his report.  
  
Owen sat listening raptly as the EMH reported on the past four years Voyager had spent in the Delta Quadrant. Tom was alive, 60,000 light-years from home, but still alive. The EMH also informed him that his son had done quite well in the Delta Quadrant.   
  
When the Doctor had been thoroughly debriefed, Owen asked to spend a few minutes with him privately. Admiral Richardson consented, knowing that Owen desperately wanted to speak with the EMH about Tom.  
  
Owen left the office with a light heart. The news that Tom was alive filled him with joy beyond measure. As he approached the memorial, he walked more briskly than he ever had in the past fourteen months. As was his custom, he laid the rose before Tom's name and gently brushed the engraved letters on the cool marble.  
  
"Tom, I am so glad you're alive. Your EMH told me all about you. He's says you're one of Voyager's finest officers. The Doctor told me about all the times you saved Voyager, that your the Chief Pilot, a medic, and a good friend. He also told me that you are dating B'Elanna Torres, and that the two of you are very happy together. I'm so glad, Tom."  
His voice cracked, and he wiped tears from his eyes. "I hope you can forgive me. I can't stay long today. I've got to go let your mom and sisters know you're alive and well. Bye, son."   
  
He walked home with a light step. He could hardly wait to give his wife and daughters the wonderful news. He knew Elizabeth and the girls would be elated. He certainly was. If he could only be certain how Tom would react to his message he was sending via the EMH. Hopefully, all of the families would be able to send messages later. Starfleet was studying the network of rely stations. If it was at all possible, messages would be sent back and forth.  
  
  
As he walked into the house, his wife and daughters met him at the door. They were all a little uncertain as to what news he wanted to break to them. The last time he had called them all together like this was to tell them that Starfleet had declared Voyager lost with all hands. Each woman hoped it was not more bad news. His glowing face told them that it had to be extremely good news.  
  
Owen Paris looked at three expectant faces of the women in his life. He could not wait another instant so he blurted his news out. "Tom is alive and well in the Delta Quadrant." He hugged his wife tightly. "He's alive, Elizabeth, he's alive!"  
  
****Back on Voyager*****  
  
After giving the official report to the Captain, the Doctor took Tom aside. "Your father spoke with me."  
  
Tom stiffened and wondered what his dad had told the Doctor. Was he about to be told that the Doctor no longer wanted him helping in sickbay?  
  
Noticing his discomfort, the Doctor put a hand on his shoulder. "Relax, Tom, I told your father about how much you've changed since we've been stuck out here. He was impressed," said the Doctor.  
  
Tom snorted. Memories of the angry words his father had hurled at him still stung. His father had disowned him. Why should the fact that he been presumed dead change the Admiral's mind?  
  
"Tom, he said they all miss you very much. He was very happy to know you are alive and well. He hopes Voyager makes it home soon so he can see you again."  
  
Tom was not sure how to take the Doctor's news. "The last time I saw the Admiral, he told me I was no longer his son and he never wanted to see me again."  
  
"Tom, your father has changed. He realized when Voyager and its crew were declared lost how much havoc his temper wrought. He even started counseling to aid him in controlling anger. It seems that incarceration by the Cardassians had long reaching effects which he was in denial about."  
  
"The Admiral got counseling?" asked Tom in disbelief.  
  
"Yes," answered the Doctor. "Your father knows he made mistakes. He hopes that you will make it home in time for him to make amends."  
  
Tom carefully considered what the Doctor had told him. "Thanks for talking to my father, Doc. What you've said has given me a lot to think about." He turned and walked out of sickbay deep in thought. For now, he could hope that when they did get home, he and his father could mend their relationship. 


End file.
